Eliminate Frustrating People

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I hate being frustrated, but as much as I hate it, I usually just put up with it. I let frustration just hang around as long as it wants.

Why do I do that?

Well it's usually not so simple to just eliminate frustration.  The frustrations we face are often People! You can't do anything about people right..?

Wrong! You have to do something about people. You need to be strong enough leaders to deal with frustrating people.

Shouldn't we show patience?  Yes we should show patience towards people... AS LONG AS they keep trying to do better. If someone is a constant frustration and they aren't even trying to do better... CUT THEM OFF. Over, Done, Move on!  Tell them "I love you, but we are through doing this."

This doesn't make you a bad Christian or a failure as a leader.  No. This is all a biblical concept. Jesus told his disciples in Mark 6:11 "if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, leave that place and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them." I believe this is for us as well. If there is someone who doesn't welcome your leadership or listen to you, if they are are always stabbing you in the back and causing trouble... then you shoul "leave that place!"


One of my biggest pet peeves in Christianity is the misconception that we servants of the church can't address frustration!  This is absolutely not true!  There is a misconception that we just have to deal with frustrating people. Perhaps we will outlast them, or they will just go away... Wrong wrong wrong.


Here are some things to do if someone is a frustration to you. 

1. Pray for them and for yourself. 
2. Talk to them directly about the frustration

• Think about the conversation, what you want to say, how you want to say it, before hand. This takes the emotional charge out of what you want to say and also helps you craft your message.
• The first time you talk to them it doesn't have to be a huge deal. It just needs to communicate the situation clearly.
• Give them the benefit of the doubt. 
  
• Be specific and direct.
• Watch your tone!

3. Offer them solutions/options on how to change the situation. 
4. Offer them a way out.

• Sometimes people simply need to step away for a while. Give them an opportunity to do that. If they leave right they will probably come back right. 

Most honest people won't need any further steps than this. Here are the more drastic steps.

1. Talk to them again WITH A WITNESS. If they don't receive you in this then...
2. You remove them from this frustrating position and you have every right to do so.

If the frustrating person responds well, then that is great news. You and that person are now closer having worked through this problem. If the person does not respond well you know you have to move on.

weeping may stay for the night,
   but rejoicing comes in the morning - Psalm 30:5

Frustration with people should not last for very long. If it does... we are doing ministry wrong.